By Melanie Dallas, LPC
The start of a new school year is often filled with excitement. New teachers, new classmates, new routines, and new opportunities can make this season feel like a fresh beginning. It can also be stressful – and that’s true whether your child is facing something difficult or something exciting.
Although we might tend to think of stress as something negative, positive changes can also create stress. Starting kindergarten, moving to a new school, joining a sports team, taking more challenging classes, or simply adjusting to a different routine are all examples of transitions that can bring both excitement and anxiety. Even children who are looking forward to the school year may still be working through feelings they don’t fully understand.
Because every child responds to change differently, there isn’t a single “normal” reaction to the beginning of the school year. One child may walk eagerly into school on the first day while another worries for weeks in advance. Both may simply be responding to the stress of transition in different ways.
It’s important to remember that children do not always express stress with words. Instead, stress may show up through changes in behavior. A child who suddenly becomes more irritable, more emotional, or more withdrawn may be communicating that something feels different. Younger children may complain of headaches or stomachaches, while older children may become unusually quiet, frustrated, or reluctant to participate in activities they normally enjoy. Those changes don’t necessarily mean something is seriously wrong, but they do mean it’s worth slowing down and paying attention.
For parents, one of the most valuable things you can offer is the opportunity to talk. If “How was your day?” doesn’t elicit much of a response, try chatting during a walk or drive home, or while making dinner together. When I was working as a therapist, I encouraged parents to have three ‘touchpoints’ with their children each day – brief moments of affirmation and connection that help their child feel important – in the morning before heading off to school, when they get home from school (or when you get home from work) and at night just before bed.
While we all want to do what’s best for our kids, supporting a child’s mental health isn’t about having one perfect conversation on the first day of school. It’s about creating a pattern of checking in, listening, and making sure children know there is always a safe place to turn. So make time for regular touchpoints – but also remember some of the best discussions happen naturally, when simply spending time together. Sometimes children will tell you what they are thinking just because you are there – especially when children know they can talk honestly about what they’re experiencing and not be judged for it.
Children also watch how the adults in their lives respond to challenges – to disappointment, uncertainty, and change. When kids see their parents acknowledge their own emotions, ask for help when they need it, and demonstrate healthy ways to cope with stress, children learn that those behaviors are signs of strength, not weakness. The goal isn’t necessarily to eliminate stress, but to help kids understand that navigating change is part of growing up, and part of life.
Of course, most children will settle into new routines as the school year unfolds. But if changes in mood or behavior persist, begin interfering with daily life, or continue to worsen, it may be a good idea to seek some additional input from your pediatrician, school counselor, or mental health professional.
A successful school year is about much more than grades and attendance. It’s an opportunity for children to build resilience, learn healthy ways to navigate life’s inevitable stresses, and grow with the confidence that trusted adults will listen, support them, and help them through whatever changes and challenges come their way.
Melanie Dallas is a licensed professional counselor and CEO of Highland Rivers Behavioral Health, which provides treatment and recovery services for individuals with mental illness, substance use disorders, and intellectual and developmental disabilities in a 13-county region of northwest Georgia that includes Bartow, Cherokee, Cobb, Floyd, Fannin, Gilmer, Gordon, Haralson, Murray, Paulding, Pickens, Polk and Whitfield counties.